RAISING THE BAR

RAISING THE BAR             

 I was surprised to be invited to the wine tasting.  I don’t think I’m known as a cultural wasteland but neither was I very well acquainted with much of what passes for sophistication, namely literature, music, art, and wine.   That’s not to say I don’t make an effort now and then. 
 
As regards literature, I keep going to poetry readings even though I don’t seem to be acquiring a taste for it, not contemporary compositions anyway.   On those occasions the reader, often the poet, moves me but rarely the poem.   I’m a little ashamed, I don’t know exactly why but I sense I should be, to admit that I like poems that rhyme and that I can understand, not the poems found, for example, in the
New Yorker.  They don’t rhyme.  Neither do I understand them.   Further, they seem to rely on distractions, on the misuse of punctuation and grammar to lend a heft the poem might not otherwise impart. 
 
Music, classical music actually, a proper appreciation of which would go a long way toward giving me a loftier perch from which to regard the world, just doesn’t resonate with me, although I keep going to the concerts.  There’s a staggering amount of music out here on the islands.  I love most of it: blues, gospel, doo-wop, bluegrass, but classical music, well - again it’s the performer I enjoy, particularly a pianist or a string player, someone whose face, free of the instrument, can be watched.   I used to carry a clarinet in the school band here on the island.  I say carry because that is the only acknowledgment the music teacher would give to my participation.   I was not a good clarinetist.   When we marched on Memorial Day the band leader, who had taken the reed out of my instrument in advance, told me to puff out my cheeks when I marched by my un-suspecting family so they could beam proudly like the parents of the kids who really were playing their instruments.
 
I’m trying harder with art because my wife Elaine is a successful and enthusiastic painter and the director of a very prestigious gallery on the island.   Sometimes I go to museums or galleries and look at paintings.  I'm afraid I like Norman Rockwell.  What’s so special about the Mona Lisa?  I’ve seen more beguiling smirks this evening.  There are exceptions though.   That one Michelangelo did of God, for example, was pretty good and, of course, I love all my wife’s paintings. 
 
I’ve done better with wine.   It was because of my association with Elaine that I got to go to the wine tasting.   She got invited and I kind of 'go with’ her, like a scarf and like Kleenex.    It wasn’t long ago that I couldn’t tolerate wine, couldn’t fathom what folks saw in the stuff.   Beer was great, coffee too.  Either, I felt, enhanced a meal and I’d enjoyed both for decades.   But wine!  It just tasted awful and it was expensive.  You could get three or four six packs of Schaefer for what it cost for one jug of wine.   Not long ago, though, a short lived and modest affluence descended on me and as I prospered I felt I needed wine.  The awareness came on very naturally, like feeling, at around thirteen, that I needed a girlfriend, and later at around seventeen, that I needed one quite desperately.   I was evolving.  Suddenly, I liked wine, all kinds of wine, and I began to buy it by the box, not by the case - by the box.   I began to do more entertaining and to feel more confident about having folks over, different folks, more cosmopolitan folks.  Right away I’d offer them a glass of wine and go right to the refrigerator and fill a glass from the little tap on the box and I’d refresh their glasses similarly as required.   Sometimes our guests would comment about the wine, something like, “Mmm, interesting,” and I could tell that their’s was not an unqualified endorsement so I’d answer with something like, “Perhaps it hasn’t had a chance to breath, it’s such a short walk from the fridge.”    Soon, though, we began to get gift bottles of wine and our guests would bring bottles to dinner themselves.  Gradually, as I consumed more and more of it, I was able to actually distinguish those I enjoyed from those I enjoyed less, or more, and I had to acknowledge that I liked them all better than the stuff in the box.  I needed to learn more and I like to be orderly when I learn about things (I'll explain more about that later) so I first learned there were reds and whites.   The simplicity of this first step pleased me and I’m glad I took the time because my particular red/green color blindness would otherwise surely have resulted, at some point, in my going to the wine store and asking for a nice green Merlot to present to my hostess.   Now, having had a little experience, and although I don’t know a Riesling from a Chardonnay or a Pinot Noir from a Cabernet Sauvignon, I am less nervous when eating out.   I look at the wine list as soon as I’m seated so I’ll be ready.   I pick out a white wine that is about $4 a glass and whose name I can pronounce and when the wait person asks if I’d like a drink to start I order that glass of wine.  There is one exception.   If Gewurztraminer is among the selections and if it’s available by the glass I order it regardless because I love to say Gewurztraminer.  I took German in high school for the same reason; I loved the sound of the language.   I wasn’t any good at that either.   I sort of carried the language instead of speaking it, like the clarinet.  Several years later, while in the service, I met a German girl on the beach in Marseille and, after awhile, intending to invite her (in her own language) to dinner, I instead challenged her to ‘stand up against the bathroom wall and hold a sheet of paper between her teeth while waving her arms in the universal sign of alarm.’  She seemed to pick up on the alarm part but not much else about my proposal interested her.  

Phillip Crossman