ANOTHER WOMAN

The other night my wife, Elaine, ever adjusting course to suit changing circumstances, suggested that we, I nearing eighty and she much younger, seriously consider our two—probable—eventualities.  Thinking, typically, of me before herself, she began by suggesting we consider my own options should she pre-decease me, which seemed unlikely, before talking about the more probable alternative.   We began by talking about my own circumstances and available options in that event.  The reality, my reality, if that happens, is sobering and, illuminated as it was that night, was a humbling reminder of how much of the life I enjoy is only possible because she so continually anticipates my needs and prepares for possibilities.  I am very well taken care of. She talked about the importance of cleanliness—clean laundered clothes, clean house, clean bathrooms, a clean, at least weekly, fresh bed, clean utensils and so forth.  In other words, our home, the one she cleans and cares for almost entirely and the importance of keeping it that way.  And then there were our modest finances, insurance, taxes, suitable seasonal clothing, shopping, health care, medical protocols, a healthy and comprehensive diet, meal preparation, on and on.  As she recited the litany of unfamiliar responsibilities that would suddenly be mine if she pre-deceased me, something remedial and far more likely to achieve the desired goals, clearly dawned on her—a far more likely alternative to trying to indoctrinate me so I could actually and adequately take care of myself.  She suggested I take up with a certain unattached island woman, with whom I already had a neighborly relationship and for whom I’d recently done a few favors—not unusual give we are on a smallish island, all know one another, all neighbors and all doing favors for one another. 

At the landfill a few days later, I found myself a few feet away from that very woman.  She was clearly upset about something and engaged in an animated conversation with another island lady.  Certainly, I thought, it would brighten her day and her prospects, for that matter, and distract her from whatever it was that she’d found upsetting, to learn that she and I might, if a certain eventuality were to evolve, get together, and so I interrupted their conversation and, pre-supposing her excitement, said, “I wanted to let you know that Elaine has suggested we get together in the event she pre-deceases me.”   I confess I’d expected a little more enthusiasm and, in something of a snit, was tempted to, instead, make the same offer to her companion.

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